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Nov. 28th, 2014 | 05:57 pm
mood: tired as hell

being forced to be with - or at the very least, being made to feel guilty about not wanting to to be with - family is always a horrible idea. so most holidays suck. esp thanksgiving. esp during a time like this when p much the entire world is just shitty.

things i had to hear on thanksgiving:

  • my boss had a lot of shit happen to her in the past that i didn't know about, [still dk, shit is v underwraps] so that's probably the reason she doesn't have a man in her life; "maybe x y and z happened & she's asexual now who knows" (good to know that you know the word asexual exists but it has a negative connotation and probably only "happens" to people when shit goes wrong) (like dgmw, my boss has /no/ filter and i don't feel guilty about being like "jesus what the /fuck/" sometimes about her, but like. really...)

  • was v nervous about hearing racist comments; was ready to literally get up and walk out of the room if ferguson was mentioned b/c i do not have the strength or patience to try and argue about it w/ anyone in my family. luckily i didn't @ dinner b/c my dad and cousin brought their girlfriends (who are both woc) but that didn't stop me from hearing comments on the ride home. (and you know, p much since i've been home tbh.)

  • everyone is super supportive of lgbt people as long as you're a young boy coming out as gay! so much othering though, "they" - "they're so brave" "they're so nice" "they're such good shopping buddies" oh my god ////LITERALLY//// GOODBYE. but then i heard there's a rumor that bruce jenner is transgender? idk if he's supposedly come out as such? i don't keep up w/ the kardashians so i don't know anything about the family but as soon as that was brought up it was all "lmao lmao / he used to be the best athelete in the world / now he looks like an old lesbian etc etc" i'm just. cool 2 know y'all are super supportive of everyone who doesn't fit into heteronormative ideals

  • tons of "lmao god is definitely a woman" b/c she's spiteful as hell against all the white males i know apparently

  • how many times can i hear "retarded" in one week? i will try and keep you updated

then i tried to ask my dad about money since later today my car insurance is supposed to be taken out of my account as it is every month..... yk, for both cars under my name..... even though i'm fucking done w/ that scion and have been for a year and a half. [last time he gave me some extra for that was prob a few months ago, but i don't think he realizes how many months he owes me for.] he told me he'd try and give me s/t today or tomorrow and actually did manage to give me $400 today so that there would be enough money in my account for this month's payment to go through. what he doesn't remember is that on top of that, i have 2 utility bills to cover, prob[?] $100 or so each, plus another $400 for rent for next month, plus the rest of the $650 or so for this semester. plus i need a little bit of money to eat [?] and make sure i have enough to be able to drive back up. [i'm coming back next weekend again for that free concert but i asked my mom if she'd make that my bday present so that she didn't have to spend extra lending me money for so much] plus i want to participate in a secret santa thing w/ my college friends [only $25 at most] and like. just. /sighs/ my stepsister was just like "jesus do you need me to lend you some money" even though i'm sure she knows i would never borrow any from her and my mom was like "you know i don't mean your dad disrespect but he doesn't take any of this seriously" and i was like "lmao it's fine because i /do/ mean disrespect" since he also owes my mom another $250 bc she had to pay my sister's phone bill. but like, he doesn't even know that he thinks he owes my sister that money because otherwise my mom probably wouldn't get that money back...... [also my mom paid for the first $600 of my tuition for this year b/c my dad didn't have it so technically he owes her that too.]

lmao at least now my mom knows that i was barely sleeping last semester because i was under so much financial stress
. i mean i haven't been sleeping super well this semster either, but it's better than last semester and i think that's b/c i'm already registered for next semester and i just can't even muster up enough energy to care anymore. my mom just told me i look like i lost some weight and i told her it was proably b/c i'm trying to spend less on food/eat less to save money. Nice.

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